Gift Guide for Tween Boys



Here it is, Tween Boy Shoppers. The gift guide you need to shop for the kid who answers "What do you want for Christmas?" with a grunt, burp and a barely mumbled IDUNNO. Just click those linked gift names and Add to Cart as fast as you can armpit fart. Or maybe skip the shopping altogether, because if you can armpit fart, then you've won your Tween Boy over for life. And if you can knee pit fart, then we crown you Queen Mum of all the Tween Boy Mums of the Galaxy.  




Tactical just sounds serious, doesn't it? Who doesn't want two serious flashlights? I know you're catching on to a trend at our home, but we lose these things on the regular. So, this fulfills a need and a want.
Flash Lights
GET THIS. Invite your friends over, order some pizza and let the kids have at it. Pray no one runs into each other or sprains an ankle (true story). 
Capture the Flag
Adidas originals have always been where it's at, but it seems that the athleisure world has reacquainted itself with this brand. It's everywhere. For good reason. I have one of these in pink, and I'm trying to figure out how to basically live in it without anyone calling me out on it. 
Adidas Hoodie
This might sound cheesy 🤓🤓🤓 but kids do want some independence. And parents want to make less sandwiches. Win-Win.
Grilled Cheese Maker
I'm not sure why these are special, but the kids at my son's school seem to be into them. Maybe everyone is just Yeti'd out? I'm not hatin' on this Amazon link, because Amazon is my ol' trusty. But sometimes you can find these at Home Goods, Marshalls or TJMaxx on the cheap.
Hydro Flask 
This is basically flair for your flask. Good stocking stuffer idea. 
Hydro Flask Handle
Love a good Bose product. This is perfect for a tween who has bad taste in music. Great sound quality but not so loud that you'll have to toss it in the trash can when you've heard enough. 
Mini Bose
It's basically a rite of passage to have some sort of cozy furniture in your tween room. This one looks well beyond the days of styrofoam ball bean bag chairs. Looks like mama might borrow this for a minute. 
**Tons of colors available**
Chill Sack
When your only ride option is a bike, might as well pimp it out. These lights do the trick. And they might save your tween's life if they're heading home at dusk. 
Activ Lights
I know nothing about this game other than it received 5/5 Amazon stars and has a rainbow box. Sold.
Mindless games like this are fun for everyone. The basketball version of tiki toss is sure to take things up a notch. 
Basketball Tiki Toss
Everyone says teen boys don't like to offer up much information. Maybe you could use these lights in his room as a new method of communication. Red means he's angry. Yellow is a good day. Green means he's not feeling well, and black signals his room smells like death.
LED light changing bulbs
These were named appropriately. They'll likely smell like Fritos after a few wears, but at least they'll be looking good. 
Happy Socks
The sunset doesn't stop play around here with these tweens. Light up that ball and keep it going!
Glow Basketball
Warmth, style, tuning music in, tuning mom out. They'll love it.
Bluetooth Beanie
Every competitve family should have this game. Nuf sed.
Another must have for boys. Invite the neighbors over, and let them slug it out. Invest in one of those large orange coolers, fill it up, throw some Doritos out the window at them, and you're golden.
Flag Football Set
A great gift in and of itself, but add some new deodorant, a tooth brushes, hairbrush, things to help him not smell, and voila! An amazing gift!
Dopp kit
Travel ball and swim meets provide ample opportunity for some car sleeping. This little gadget can put them to sleep faster so you can listen to the criminal themed Podcast that would be too scary for them to hear.  Mask and ear plugs are for you. Not while driving though.
Neck Pillow
Now that I'm looking at this more closely, it kind of looks like a collage of ultrasound images. But to a baseball lovin' tween, I'm sure they can spot their favorite team's home turf. They offer prints of individual fields as well. Much less baby-in-utero looking. 
Ballpark Prints
Please read about this one. It does all kinds of things. Like wakes them up so you don't have to yell up the stairs!
Alarm Clock
Probably a dorky gift in an of itself. But throw a few new hats in there to take things up a notch. I didn't even know these existed, but I'm not mad about the discovery after ruining several of my trucker hats from lazy packing. 
Hat case
Normal hot potato = game for babies. Add in a shock element and we're all excited to play. And by all, I mean tween boys. Because I'm out. Raising tweens is shocking enough.
Another 5 star mindless game that I thought looked cool. 
This won't be for every tween, but for your class clowns and kids who want to be the center of attention, here's your Christmas winner.
Beard Head
Jack and Finn will eye roll so hard if they see this one. Because according to them, they're the last youths standing without smart phones. So, to the rest of the kids in America, check this out. I kinda want one.
Smartphone Projector
This kinda just needs to happen for any boy out there. One minute you're lecturing them at bedtime for leaving their basketball shoes all over the house. The next minute you're all "off the ceiling, nothing but net". These things bring families together, folks.
Mini Hoop
No, I'm not sponsored by Adidas. But I'm trying really hard. These are the same slides I wore at soccer tournaments in the days of yore. They haven't changed, because they don't need to. 
Adidas slides
I'm not entirely sure if Jack was 5 minutes old or 10 minutes old before I realized that life with boys was made easier when things were waterproofed. Like this bag. I don't always know why their stuff is wet. At least with this bag, it appears that at least my stuff will be dry.
Waterproof Duffel Bag
This just made me laugh. Would be funny in a bathroom. And seriously...why are superheroes in man panties most of the time? 
Hero Draws
Christmas is a great time to freshen up the team spirit clothing. There's nothing like a good new hoodie or t shirt, and the Tailgate division of American Eagle nails it. Lots of old school looks, soft fabrics and inside slogans from the universities that make these a home run. 
**They also carry MLB and NBA items as well! Adult sizes only, but they run on the smaller side**
Team Spirit
Death Valley T shirt
This is basically a skateboard that looks like a surf board. Watch the videos. It's like surfing on land. Also, exactly the opposite of what it would look like if I tried it. 
razor ripsurf
Alrighty, Tween Boy Shoppers! Let's see how you do! If they whine and complain on Christmas morning, do what we always do: 


  • This is so entertaining and so helpful! Thanks, Erin!

  • You continue to be the best “read” for levity and good info!
    Love all of this!!!


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