There's no time for games, y'all. We are at least at DEFCON Level 2 in terms of Christmas readiness. Raise your hands in the a-yerrr if yous a true playerrrr aboard the gift-giving struggle bus for your man folk.
The rules are the same. Click the gift name for a direct link to purchase.
All roads lead to Amazon, and as an added YOU'RE WELCOME bonus, these items were listed as available and ready to ship and arrive in time for Christmas. If that has changed by the time you click the link then go ahead and try to fight me.
Gift Guide for the Menzzz
Up front, this is basically a man Caboodle. But for S'mores. If word gets out about this, he will not earn any cool points at the water cooler, the ball field, and most assuredly the monster truck rally. But this is a GREAT gift 'from the kids'. Fill'r full of the S'mores trifecta of ingredients, and come Christmas morning he'll know his kiddos want to hang with him at the fire pit.
This is a 4 pack of key finders that connect to your bluetooth. Use your phone to locate your keys. And reassure him that while some might see this as asking for directions to your keys, it's DEFINITELY NOT. No way. Not even close. You're still a man.
Surprise! It's Adidas!
These are cozy but not sloppy.
These are more "lets go get breakfast!" and less "I've been camped on the couch all week with the man flu."
Errbody needs a cool bag.
These seem to be a versatile option for around-the-house wear. I could easily see a dude kicked back eating a pizza or responding quickly to the dog getting out of the fence again.
Tred and Street Cred.
Empty those pockets and TRASH THE OLD RECEIPTS AND BUSINESS CARDS FOR THE LOVE and keep the important stuff in this tidy little man tray.
I found a cool mug, but it wasn't going to arrive before Christmas. Then I found this better mug that surely needs to find its way to a campsite A to the S-A-P.
(Maybe schedule a weekend of camping and introduce it with this mug.)
If retro camping's not his thing, maybe these will speak life into his morning colon blow routine.
Go look in his closet. If 90% of his shirts are white and blue, then he's getting these socks for Christmas. Commit.
2019 is the year of branching out.
You know how they say to replace your smoke detector batteries every time you change your clocks back and forth from Daylight's Savings? (Wondering: Arizona and Hawaii, since you're DST non-participants, how do you handle this safety measure? Get a plan, you rogues!)
Christmas should be the time we replace the shirts that have so much FONK in them that you apologize to the guy next to you at the gym.
If you think you might stink, you do stink.
Some might not be comfortable enough in their masculinity to stand in line to purchase these. Throw him a bone here, girls, and take credit for introducing him to his new favorite workout item.
And throw in a pair of shorts.
For the sake of humanity.
If you're like us, you forget the grill tools outside and they get jank.
A new set never hurt anybody.
Check out the link on this one. I'm suffering Gift Wrapping Procrastination Sleep Deprivation, and don't want to explain this one. If the guy you're shopping for has to write a lot of notes for his work or his pleasure, this is for him.
For the readers who love history...
For the readers who love America and bad to the bone brothers..
Listen up, ladies.
If we can gift items that increase the chance of him cooking dinner, then we buy them and celebrate the possibilities.
Maybe even say something like "I could just picture you slingin' pizzas to all the guys for game night. You'd be great at that."
This is an aggressive smoothie maker of the highest order.
Great stocking stuffer.
Handy 🤓 for the man whose hobbies include fixing, repairing, tinkering, waving at passerby and burglary.
Another one to file into the ploy toy category.
Porch need a good spray down? Driveway a little moldy?
Spring cleaning, here we come!
Don't let him be the guy at the airport still toting his LLBean that Mama got him circa 1995.
Not very exciting, but at least the next time it rains you won't have to hear him say, "I need a rain coat."
As the resident frat mom of our home, I'm lucky enough to do very little bug killing. But, DERN, if I don't think I could get into picking some bugs off with this salt shooter!!!
PS. Boys only grow up in size. I could gift this to my grandad, and he would scream Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!
But TRUST ME.
He won't crown you the queen of gift giving when he opens it, but after the first prank is successfully executed, you'll rule the world.
I heard a rumor that Jimmy Fallon got his wedding ring caught in a cabinet handle and it basically did some really gross stuff to his finger.
If these are a good idea for Jimmy, then they're good enough for your guy.
Beards are so in for so many.
But one day they won't be.
We must be prepared.
This thing looks like nothing to me.
But to the poor fellas with unwanted back fur who don't have anyone volunteering to take care of business, this looks like a rescue plane dropping a ladder down into the palm of his hand.
Play it cool with a wink and a nod as you watch the relief wash over his face when he discovers he doesn't have to wear a t shirt to the pool this summer.
27. Wireless Charger
Wires are for losers.
28. Fart Neutralizers
I'm fighting the urge to drop a walk off pun about this being a GAG gift only.
BUTT, I don't want to cause a STINK for the subway riders, carpoolers, and those in close cubicle quarters who might actually want to make friends with their neighbors.
29. Burger Book
If he's competitive, challenge him to a burger competition where he makes a different burger every week for a year, and you tell him if they're better than McDonald's.
52 dinners ✅
30. Stunner Shades
New rims for Christmas.
31. Noise Cancelling Headphones
Full disclosure, these are for the last minutes shoppers who aren't afraid to go Big Time Money this Christmas, cause they ain't cheap.
But neither is couple's therapy for those of us who are oftentimes labeled as "chatty."
I prefer the term "Sharer". But whatever. Get the headphones for him, and flap your yap off. You didn't want him fixing the problem anyway.
32. Leatherman Multitool
There's usually a guy in every crowd who has something like this for an unforeseen thread hanging from your shirt hem or equally tragic loose nosepiece on the sunglasses conundrum. This hero typically become the unofficial MacGuyver of the moment.
And who in their right mind doesn't want to be MacGuyver? Let's help our guys get one step closer with this gadget.
Because #NOPE to the MacGuyver Mullet.
Not on our watch.
Click. Add to cart. AND GET IT DONE, y'all!