The Space Between (Rebooted)
Before you read this and wonder "I'm pretty sure she already wrote about this", I'm coming clean up front and saying YEP. You're right. People still randomly text me about the original post on this topic, so I know it struck a cord. Why reinvent the wheel? And also...this blog rolled out on Monday in some sort of freak impulsive move. So...revised old material it is! Here we go...again.
The Good: Brothers hugging it out before a two week camp separation.
The Bad: Two fractures halfway through baseball season juuuuust after figuring the whole batting thing out.
The Space Between: A partially eaten PB and Nutella sandwich and a jawbone on the bathroom counter.
This. This right here, folks. This is where we live. The middle ground. The Land of Crud That's Weird but We're Just Used To It.
We've all had the amazing days of parenthood. The days of daffodil picking and snapping the perfect photo. The kids eating raw kale in front of your mother-in-law. Your son (the one you worry about) telling his teacher he wants to be a missionary when he grows up...
And we have the bad days. I'm not talking about the really bad days when your child is diagnosed with a serious illness or something actually life-altering awful but the general parenthood bad days. The days of stomach bugs, forgetting baseball uniforms, the five year old telling the hair stylist that his lollipop tastes like her mom (true story), and general poop incidents.
But a while ago, I determined that we live most of our parenthood in The Space Between (go ahead and belt out that Dave Matthews, baby!), when I came home to find this:
A cup on my picnic table. Nothing else. No baseball bat. No Spandex shorts that it belongs in. No Cheese Its in the event a kid decided to use it as a cracker holder. No explanation whatsoever.
Just a jock and the noonday sun.
So I decided to play a little game. See how long the cup stays here before someone else in this house notices it. How long before someone else in this home with a working brain that synapses at a functioning pace speaks up and says, Hey...why's a cup on the picnic table?
Or wedged in the sofa?
But as you will see...
This didn't happen.
Instead, this little vagabond wonder just moved around and around the house, from point to point. The kids (I'm assuming...although John???) picking it up, tossing it, playing make believe with it, I don't even know. I just know that I kept finding it all over the place.
Toy basket. Weirdness Level 2/10. Not a toy. But this placement could be worse.
This next one earned a C for creativity. I'm guessing GMC (and Colgate) had other ideas in mind, but technically this IS a cup holder.
This location really got to me. Sitting next to a parenting book!?!?! This was the middle finger location.
And this one gave me nightmares. It was the Mona Lisa of jocks. The Jason of motherhood horror. Looking at me. Saying, go ahead. Move me. You know you want to. I belong in the bat bag with the other baseball themed things. Particularly in the Spandex shorts, tucked neatly away, ready to protect some boy parts.
But I held strong!!!!
It showed up in MY SPACE. I really have only one space in our home and it's actually not even fully mine because it's Charlie's bedroom/the paint room. But here sat the cup. In all of its holey mockery.
And I caved.
And then John found this picture on my phone and was really weirded out. And then I had to face the irony. If private part protectors float around the house without mention, and I'm the only one who stores this in the "strange/gross" file, but I'm the one with a camera roll full of pictures of it...
WHO'S THE REAL WEIRDO?!?!
Please confirm that I'm not the only lady camped out here in Jockstrap Junction. Or Crayons in the Shower City. Or whatever you want to call it when you're constantly looking around your living space like WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK IS HAPPENING?!? Seriously. Confirm it. I want pictures. Give me the stories. What unusual item is in your purse right now that you keep maneuvering around because you don't even notice it anymore?
Show me the weirdness, people. So that we can feel more normal. #parentalparadox
Share the link. Spread the word. We need awareness!!! #thespacebetween #futurefunnyfarmresidents
Erin, you are quite the humorous genius!!!!
This is hilarious! You are the best!